Sunday, November 30, 2008

Jinx, You Owe Me Zankou!

I actually wondered for a second whether one of these retards isn't my cousin or someone I know:



I don't condone pot-smoking, because smoking pot makes one very, very stupid--as in drooling at the mouth stupid to the point that you don't remember what you were trying to say when you started the sentence... I mean that as a statement of fact and not as a moral lesson, or anything like that.

In any case, this is a very real piece of Armenian history, done by everyday Armenians.

Zankou, for those who don't live around here, is Zankou Chicken, a fast food franchise in the L.A. area started by an Armenian (who was murdered by a family member, if I remember correctly [actually, yes, I do remember correctly, now that I have looked it up]). It's good chicken, I must say. They have a potato-paste garlic sauce (a kind of starched-up aioli) that goes a long way in making a pita-wrapped piece of chicken breast heavenly, especially with the pickled vegetables and, of course, the pepperchinos.

And 818 is the area code for the Glendale area. It's a gang thing that these kids are picking up as an accoutrement. Another funny thing about the clip is is "bllik." "Bllick" is what you think it is, if what you're thinking is hard, although "bllick" does just as well refer to the soldier in his off-duty state, too--you know, relaxed.

I won't list the sordid details, but these are arevmtahays and parskahays fucking around. Because arevmtahays and parskahays have been around Glendale for ever.

Friday, November 28, 2008

Getting Trampled to Death vs. Attending a $20 Million Party.

Some poor schmuck got trampled to death by Wal-Mart shoppers in Long Island this morning at 5 AM, when the doors were opened and the so-called "Blitz Line" rushed in. Emergency crews took the guy to the hospital, but witnesses said that he was clearly dead already at the store, which means that by the time the last lard-asses were stepping on him what they were actually stepping on was a dead piece of meat.

Of all the ways to go, I'd say getting trampled to death by frenzied Wal-Mart shoppers is probably one of the worst. It's wrong on so many different levels that dying at the tentacles of a snuggly positioned kandiru while it gets intimate with your prostate gland is probably preferable--it's at least more natural. Getting trampled to death by consumer crack-heads while they make a dash for DVD players that are 50% off--dying like that doesn't just amount to murder, it amounts to a condemnation of an entire way of life.

Notice the sick irony here: Those drooling herds of compulsive hoarders of plastic junk were trained enough to take what they wanted to the check out stand and pay for it, even though the force of their mad stampede was clearly great enough for them to have robbed the place in a riot if they'd wanted to--but they weren't civil enough to refrain from stomping someone to death on their way to their discounted Holy Grails. Modern Wal-Mart shoppers will obediently pay for their products, but they won't mind literally crushing another human being's trachea in the process.

I've seen riots with rioters a hundred times more in control of themselves than these animals. There is a shred of political purpose in riots which lends them an atmosphere a cut above that of a chicken feeding frenzy. Granted, rioters are pissed-off young men with the single-minded purpose of destroying what are the symbolic objects of their hatred, but even as they smash the world up around them, at the very least they keep an eye out for one another. These Wal-Mart animals, on the other hand, consider one another as the enemy. Rioters stick together; Wal-Mart shoppers compete against one another to buy the garbage that they should be boycotting. People like that will never gain control of their own destinies.

The man who died was a 34 year-old temporary maintenance worker. And that is what Wal-Mart does, of course, keeps people temporary so the fear of getting fired never leaves them and sets up permanent residence next to the fear of getting sick and having to die because they don't have the money to pay for treatment. The numerous other permanent residents of that psychological Abu Ghraib that workers are forced to endure are the fear of never making enough money to be able to get married, the fear of having kids get sick, and the fear of having your television companion be your sole companion for the rest of your miserable, dead-end, fucked-up life.

Meanwhile, on the other side of the planet, "stars" were attending the most expensive party ever thrown. At least they were called "stars," because from what I was able to tell from the pictures they were mostly second-"tier" people that I've never heard about. The party reportedly cost anywhere from $20 to $40 million.

Dubai's Palm Jumeirah Island is the perfect symbol for what happens when backward desert nomads, the Sheikhs building the resort, suddenly get rich after they agree to repress their own people for the sake of Colonial England: namely, ridiculously over-the-top displays of wealth that seem the perfect settings for 70s disaster films.

Dubai, dubai...hmmm, reminds of something. Oh, yeah, Mumbai.

I don't know how close to 200 jihadists can be involved in an operation that shuts down an entire city without intelligence services from here to India hearing a peep about it, but the suggestion is that they were, erm, clueless. The only way to explain is to say that most of the boots on the ground, or cheap Nike knock-offs on the ground, as the case may be, didn't know where they were going to be deployed until the last minute. But, still, how is it that nobody noticed 200 some odd people loading on to a boat along with 200 some odd Kalishnikovs, grenades, RPGs, and bombs? Sound fishy.

UPDATE: "BLITZ LINE" Starts Here. Go to photos 9 and 11. New York Daily News sucks ass to begin with. Hope you pay your photographers a living wage, assholes.

Thursday, November 27, 2008

Thanksgiving...

Why do we celebrate this holiday?

Leave it up to religious-fanatic Calvinists to come up with a holiday dedicated to eating the most tasteless fowl on the planet--turkey. Couldn't they give thanks with kabob or something? Jesus Christ.

Economic Meltdown--Big Surprise!

Have you been predicting the disaster that has been happening while complacent assholes have been laughing at your face?

Well, here is your comeuppance:



Feel free to jam it up their Republican asses.

In fact, Armenaker Kamilion is now issuing STFU certificates. That's right, every right-wing jack-off that has ever talked about things that he does not understand can now be officially told to--Shut the Fuck Up.

Yes, before you were shy about telling them to STFU, but now you can rest assured that you are actually correct: Right-wing blow-hards are just right-wing blow-hards.

You have official license from Armenaker Kamilion--there is no higher source--to tell those mother-fuckers to go Shut the Fucking Hell Up.

The Shit's going to hit fan so big time you can't even imagine it yet.

Obama #3--or #2B, to be more specific.

I said "Fuck you" to Obama last time, and now I want to make clear which Obama I was saying "Fuck you" to.

There are, actually, three Obamas. I've said there are two Obamas, but, in fact, Obama #2 is two-partite. So, just to get our Obamas straight, let me list them:

There is Obama #1--He's the perceived Obama, Jesus Christ.

There is Obama #2--The real Obama. Except there are two real Obamas, so let's break this down.

There is Obama #2A: The Obama that has to do what he has to do. The Establishment Obama, the scripted Wall Street plant. The man who has to fit the suit that has already been tailored--meaning the man who would appoint as his Chief of staff Rahm Israel Emanuel: Israeli citizen, son of an Irgun terrorist, as in real terrorist with blood on his hands, and AIPAC ass licker. Good going, Mr. Change.

Then there is Obama #2B: He's the Obama that I support. He might even be a real socialist, a person who's hung out with "radicals," someone not a stranger to Malcolm X, someone who's "palled around with 'terrorists,'" someone who knows what real change is. An academic with nerdy jokes.

The "Fuck you" from the last post was directed at Obama #2B, because when I see someone I think I understand act like a fucking hypocrite, it annoys me. I wanted to make that clear. Standard neocons would never get a "fuck you" from me, because they are beneath me. That's right: the standard neocon is not worth insulting, because it would be like getting mad at a piece of charcoal.

Obama #2B, the real Obama, in my imagination, is someone I really do think I could have a beer with, except it wouldn't be a beer. So it pains me, it annoys me to no end, that he, Obama #2B, would act like such a fucking hypocrite.

Ergo, "Fuck you, Obama"--Obama #2B.

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

$800 billion more?

What the fuck is going on here?

A couple of years ago, the government could NOT afford $8 billion to take care of kids without healthcare. Now, all of a sudden, there is $700 billion with $150 billion pork, and, on top it, another $800 billion to bail out these nothings of human beings.

I think these people take us all for idiots.

They've got what's coming to them.

Fuck you, Obama.

You're appointing Summers to what now?

That's the last fucking straw: Lawrence Summers Director of National Economic Council.

It's over: This thing called Obama is OVER.

Go fuck yourself you Kenyan shit kicker. Go fuck yourself you goddamn pussy. Go fuck yourself you goddamned liar about what you are going to do. You're just another Wall Street plant.

Monday, November 24, 2008

The Obama Paradox

Right-wing talking heads are right. The United States really is a center-right country.

If you've been following what the right-wing talking heads have been saying on mainstream news programs, then you know that they've been pushing the meme that "the US is still a center-right country." They started doing this immediately after Obama got elected, and true to their essentially robotic natures, they've churned out this meme Hostess Twinkie, conveyor-belt style nonstop ever since.

The thing is, though, this time, they're right. The so-called "left" has argued that Obama's election is, in itself, proof that the US is not a center-right country: "If the US is so center-right, then how come Obama got elected?" They'll ask, thinking they've just shut down the opposing argument. Well, here is the answer: Obama is a center-right politician. A President that appoints a Wall-Street millionaire as his Chief of Staff, arguably the second most powerful position in government, and a Barry Goldwater fan who helped pass NAFTA as Secretary of State is--not--a center-left President by any plastic-surgery strrrrrrretch of the imagination.

There are two Obamas: The real Obama, and the Obama as perceived by the incredibly naive public. This fact makes evaluating his election to the Presidency a bit complicated, because, even though the real Obama isn't going to do anything but nudge the country a bit to the left, the fact that the world thinks the US has voted for real change is something in itself. The American public has chosen what it thinks is change; on a certain level, it doesn't matter that it is wrong.

So the right-wing talking heads are right: America is still a center-right country...it just thinks its center-left. And thats the tragedy of the whole thing, or the tragicomedy, rather--as in you don't know whether to laugh or cry when you watch videos of Obama supporters going crazy after the election. Watching them, you'd think a revolution had happened, Bush had been tried and convicted, and a machine had been invented that sucks up all the pollution out of the environment and turns it into electricity and mountain-spring water. But, sadly, no: all that had happened was another Wall-Street-backed candidate winning the Presidency.

All the screaming and jumping up and down was just hysteria. This is the thing about Americans: They need to believe in something, in someone. Pretend to be the someone they need to believe in, and they'll believe. They won't even check to see whether you really are who you say you are. Why look a gift Obama in the mouth, after all? By the time November 4th rolled around, some 70 million Americans had convinced themselves that the political equivalent of the second coming was well nigh. The crazed enthusiasm that Obama supporters displayed on election night was so disproportionate to what had actually happened you got to wonder what the fuck is going on? (Although if you've been following politics, you've probably been wondering what the fuck is going on for 28 years already, and you have the psychology of a person who doesn't know whether breaking into a madhouse wouldn't actually really be breaking out of one.)

It's really heart-breakingly sad when you think about it. These people are so utterly downtrodden, feel so helpless, abused, and hopeless, that they'll convince themselves of the most ridiculously far-fetched fantasies just so they can go on. They lead empty, empty lives. This is what consumerism in a capitalist system turns people into. I remember a time when people would get up at 8, get to work by 9, and return from work at around 5:30. Now, everybody I know that works gets up at 7, and doesn't get back until--at least--7, and they work over the weekend, too. What the fuck kind of a life is that? And it's not only the need to pay the bills that drives them, but the sad fact that they don't really have any kind of a home life. There's just nothing to do except work. Once upon a time, there used to be these groups of people called "families." Now there are isolated individuals apportioned according to the number of television sets in their vicinity. And everybody is on something, usually alcohol.

And most people's jobs suck, too. Office Space wouldn't be as funny and popular if that were not the case. You don't even have to scratch the surface to get to the hostility that drives the series--the hostility is already there, on the surface. Except the perspective from which the shows are interpretable is the one that is aligned with the cool guy only, never the one aligned with the object of the hostility, like the asshole of the office or the boss. You're always looking at the office as if you were looking through the cool guy's eyes, seeing things that others don't, interpreting the world in an "intelligent," sober, and sophisticated manner, which is ironic, because the millions of assholes and bosses out there also look at the office from the perspective of the cool guy. Somebody's got to be mistaken, right? But, hey, that's America.

Obama might be able to push the country in a direction more aligned with Roosevelt's New Deal, but that is not going to make people's lives more meaningful. As a matter of fact, it was precisely the comfortable and secure lives that the New Deal afforded Americans that lulled them into the state of idiocy that allowed a maniac like George Bush to become President. And that is the Obama paradox. That was the Roosevelt paradox, too.

Meet the new paradox, same as the old paradox.

A society's culture is largely determined by its economy, by the means through which goods are exchanged. There have been times and places in human history when people have exchanged goods by exchanging gifts, by bartering, and by other means. Most of them have thought that the way they do business is natural, that things have always been the way they are used to things being--just like we do. But the fact of the matter is that capitalism is less that 300 years old, and there is nothing natural or permanent or fatalistic about it. We can change it if we want to. And we should, and not just because it periodically produces catastrophes like it has just started doing recently, and not just because instrumental intelligence and technology have advanced to the point where the enforcement of a global permanent state of emergency is possible, where permanent war and religious fanaticism have to be implemented to keep capitalism viable--as if each of those were not reason enough, as if FISA and the PATRIOT Act were not reason enough.

We should get rid of capitalism because of the effect that it is having on human culture, namely, fucking it up. Christian fundamentalists and their ideological brethren, the mollahs and Mormons, claim that the "social fabric" is being ripped apart by godlessness. The social fabric is being ripped apart, but it's not simple godlessness that is doing the ripping. It is capitalism. Capitalism produces godlessness; godlessness is a vacuum state. What, are we to believe that faith and religiosity are a matter of choice? That God died because people became lazy? No, God died because of capitalism. Religious people can yammer all they want, but that's a fact: God died because of capitalism, and that is, to put it ironically, a "blessing in disguise."

Objectively, life--the very cosmos--is meaningless. "Meaning" is, itself, is a human invention at the service of life. When God dies, one kind of meaning dies, and life becomes difficult: families fall apart, jobs become a bore, life itself becomes an intolerable protracted psychological torture session complete with middle-of-the-night cold-sweats and middle-of-the-freeway panic attacks, not to mention middle-of-the-workday silent moments when one's brain refuses to shut the fuck up.

The way that I look at it, to ask the question, "What is the meaning of life?" is to display the tell-tale symptom of a disease: the existential malaise, as it has been called, a thoroughly modern, which is to say capitalistic, disease.

Twenty, thirty years ago, the existential malaise was the intellectual's disease, and a slightly hip one at that. Woody Allen could wonder about the meaning of the universe, and his preoccupation with it would make him look smart. Today, the existential malaise is eating up American culture. People keep marveling at the number of fat Americans walking around in shorts, displaying their copious amounts of lard. Why do you think they're fat? When the ideology that controls and channels one's appetites withers away in the unmerciful atmosphere of naked capitalism, the appetites take over--people eat because eating is the only thing that gives them pleasure. That is why there are so many fat Americans. And fat people are going to be visiting your corner of the world, too, and soon.

The problem is that the psychological industry has wrapped-up the existential malaise in its own ideology, called it "depression," and come up with all kinds of drugs that its twin in the pharmaceutical industry produces as a cure. That's all bullshit. All you have to do is take a look at these signature American "diseases." If it isn't obesity, its anorexia or bulimia, the same problem, except in the inverse: people trying to gain control over their lives by exerting influence over the only thing they can, their bodies, because, indeed, life without meaning is like a ship without a rudder, and if your ship's got no rudder, then the only thing you have control over is the ship, so why not burn the whole fucker down and feel some real power in the process? And if it isn't anorexia or bulimia, then its that good old Attention Deficit Disorder. What is ADD, if not a kid having trouble focusing his attention because his parents haven't transfered to him those things that are worth focusing on, because they don't know what those things are, themselves?

More on this in a bit.

1975, 1974 if you count the drugs.

They pulled this from you tube; I found this hunting on the 'net.

Enjoy.

SNL John Belushi/Joe Cocker



1974 AC/DC



Ayy mart, let's do Joe Cocker some justice: You Are So Beautiful:

Destroy This!

Glendale? This jack-ass knows something about Glendale?

Please, visit this retardlican and finish his ridiculous comments about Glendale and Armenians.

He knows nothing about Glendale, and he knows nothing about Armenians. And that Kim Kardashian boz that he has on can go you know what. Armenians don't belly dance, asshole.


"My Armenian friends told me that they settled here because the Verdugo mountains reminded them of their "beloved" mountains of Armenia."

That's what he says. I'll teach you a lesson about beloved mountains. Me em dass sovoratsnelu kezi, srika. Ari, "beloved mountain" neri het enk khoselu. De Ari. Me em nant latsatsnelu.

Kill this idiot.

Finish this imbecile off:

Right Here.

Sunday, November 23, 2008

Samantha Power

How can I express how I love this woman?

I'll put up her address:



She got cut because she called Hillary Clinton a "monster."

Hillary Clinton is a monster.

Only the good die young...

Sunday, November 9, 2008

Quest for the biggest asshole in the US.

Figuratively speaking, of course: "asshole," meaning someone like Joe the Plumber, someone who whines about big government wanting to take his money and give it to someone else, when, it turns out, he's been on welfare twice in his life; someone who, when he is confronted about his welfare-queen past, says he's "paid it back" into the system--except he owes about $1,600 in back taxes. I could go on about Joe the Plumber, but you get the point: an "asshole" is the typical Republican blow-hard whose understanding of the world around him is so distorted that it allows his vanity to broadcast his ignorance on national TV, over and mercilessly over again--you know, sort of like an average hockey-mom who thinks she's qualified to be Vice President.

So I began my quest for the biggest asshole in the US by checking out the voting patterns of counties on a map. The map on Daily Kos, to be exact. If you click on a state on that map, it will zoom into the state and show you the breakdown of red/blue votes by county. Since I live in California, I began there. As in other places, the blue part of the state is along the coast and in and around major cities. Up in Humbolt there is a blue pocket, and south of LA is usually overwhelmingly red--except not this time. This time, the counties south of LA all went blue, save one--Orange County.

Orange County has proven that its ass-holery has achieved such zen-like perfection that not even the thought of being governed by a wrinkled old bag full of Post-traumatic stress disorder and his crazed-by-ambition, airheaded side-kick could dispel it. Which brings up the question, What the fuck is the matter with Orange County? The Answer: Oliver Cromwell, like I wrote about. Which brings up a second question: Is the biggest asshole to be found in Orange County? The answer is No: In order to find out who the biggest asshole in the US is, we need to locate the county with the highest concentration of assholes. Orange county, despite its display of miraculous lack of insight, still went 47% for Obama; that is merely a half-strength concentration. In order to locate the kind of walking-argument-for-nuclear-annihilation type of asshole, we need to locate concentrations beyond 90%; only in such a petri dish can the noxious bacterium that we are looking for grow; a county with an asshole concentration rate of below 90% is too susceptible to sanity.

Orange County is a big clue in the quest, however, because like a gigantic, arrow-shaped, demographic turd, Orange County points in the direction of the state we're looking for: Oklahoma. Orange County is the bastion of narcissism-piled-on-top-of-ignorance that it is because it is populated by people whose ancestors came from Oklahoma and, before that, from Oliver Cromwell W.A.S.P. country in Scotland. The connection is the Dust Bowl, and, irony of all ironies, the Great Depression. When the Dust Bowl hit, these people moved to the Orange groves of Orange County, California, to work like the Mexicans that they so like to rail against today. These hypocrites used to be lefties--as in real, communist left, not the limp-wristed liberals so common nowadays--during the Great Depression. Pete Seeger, Woody Guthrie, The Grapes of Wrath are their legacy. They swung right, however, when desegregation and civil rights became an issue, and right-wing politicians have been playing them like the banjo from Deliverance ever since.

Oklahoma, it turns out, is today the reddest of all states. It went 66-34 in favor of McCaine. No state beats that record. To boot, there is not one county in all of Oklahoma that went for Obama--not one. No state beats that record, either. Even Wyoming that went 65-33 for McCaine had two counties go for Obama. The county we're looking for must be here, then. But where?

Mouse through the counties on the map, and you'll see that the nearer you get to the Texas panhandle, the closer the asshole concentration gets to that magic 90% level. In Beaver County, in the northwest of Oklahoma, a whopping 89% of the population voted for McCaine. But the county we're looking for is, not in Oklahoma, but adjacent to its border: Ochiltree County, Texas, a dry county named after a village in Scotland (surprise, surprise), where the county's Events Calender has "partly cloudy" as the event for November 11-14, and where--92%--of the people voted for McCaine. It's hard to believe. Could it be that they voted for McCaine so uniformly because they all make more than $200,000 a year and don't want to pay higher taxes under Obama? Well, no. According to the 2000 census, 1.9% of the population was making more than $150,000, and the median income for households was $38,013.

The only possible explanation for their suicidal voting is that they're rabid racists. They think people from West Asia, aka the "Middle East," are about to plant a nuclear bomb in their nowhere county, and they can't bring themselves to vote for a "nigger." They're all assholes, then. But the question is, Who is the biggest asshole in this county with a majority of assholes already of surprisingly large proportions? Interesting question. One way to answer it is to ask, What could happen to Joe the Plumber to make him an even bigger asshole than he already is? Give him a tazer gun and the authority "to protect and to serve," as they say here in Cali; in other words, make him a cop. That would skyrocket his asshole rating on the Asshole Index to right about 3465 Asshole Units, head and shoulders above anybody else in the US, perhaps even the planet.

Which brings our quest to the Ochiltree Sheriff's Department. Here, the sheriff is on local radio talking about a scam that's been going on in Ochiltree. The good residents have been getting checks for thousands of dollars from "Mary Jo Smith" along with a congratulatory letter asking them to send back $2,000 to speed up the "processing." I don't know whether Mr. Sheriff is fear-mongering the way Republicans typically do or the residents of Ochiltree are really so uniformly-stupid-as-they-are-uniformly-Republican as to fall for this scam in epidemic proportions, but the depth of the ignorance in the county is palpable in the interview. As Mr. Sheriff says, the victims tend to part with their money through MoneyGram--because MoneyGram is available in Wal-Mart stores. He also says, with a resentful tone, that "if you win something, the IRS has got their hand out before you collect your winnings. I'll guarantee you that!"

Right, Mr. Sheriff. Like I'm sure you are in an intellectual position to guarantee an entire host of truths that people living in cities, outside of dead-end small towns are too never-shot-a-moose naive to understand. For example, Real America, when picking a President, asks, Well, sure he's a Harvard law professor who gave up a cush corporate job to organize in the poorest communities of Chicago, thereby demonstrating his true commitment to America, but has been tortured for seven years? In deciding on the qualifications of a Vice President, Real America asks, Of course he's been a senator for decades and is the head of the Senate Foreign Relations Committee, but can he see Russia from his house?

Incidentally, the scams Mr. Sheriff is probably talking about is 419 scams out of Nigeria, and he is either exaggerating what happens in these scams, or he just doesn't understand them, because he describes the scams incorrectly. People bait these scammers, and the results are entertaining.

In any case, Mr. Sheriff, how about big city blue states like California and New York stop spending their hard-earned dollars on your welfare? Because you know that big city blue states pay about $1.20 for your 80 cents of taxes, and the difference goes from these big-city blue states to pay for your roads, bridges, schools, and white welfare queens like Joe the Plumber. I'm sick of paying for the welfare of stupid white red-state ideological bottom feeders who turn around and vote against the country's interests because they are too stupid to know even that that letters they get from Barrister William Holden Witherspoon announcing $20 million inheritances are a scam. How about you pull yourselves up by your boot straps and build your own infrastructure? Maybe you could do it with your chain gangs. The only things you produce are cow farts, 40-something military retirees living on government pensions, and trailer parks where no 15-year-old girl is left behind the abortion issue (and I'm being generous with the syntax there).

Thursday, November 6, 2008

No shit.

The New York Times writes about the reality of what went on between Georgia and Russia.

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

In Celebration.

This is a song sung to a woman. I especially like the hand touching the hard rock part: it can inspire some serious virtuoso singing...



"Not by pennies, dimes, nor quarters,
But by happy sons and daughters."

That's what the Obama victory is about, no?

Killing people.

Woooooo Hoooooooooooooo!

Obama is President. It's been a long, long time.

(I'm not a believer, but) Please Jesus, make his body-guards triple, and keep him safe.

Sunday, November 2, 2008

Speaking of Sarkozy

Translation:

"Ladies and Gentlemen, please excuse my tardiness, but I just got done with doing shots of Stoly with Mr. Putin...

"Any questions?

"What the fuck, life goes on, right?"



It gets better:



Yes, he's drunk. Big time.

"All topics: Chechnya, journalists, the rights of homosexuals..."

It made me laugh.

But it made me kind of alarmed, too. Ya see, this fucker's gotta go, also.

Seriously.

Comedy 2008

Sarah Palin was thrilled about the Nicolas Sarkozy call.



Say you're running as VP on the US Presidential ticket, and one day you get a call. Oh My God: It's the President of France. How clueless do you have to be to accept a call from "Sarkozy," four days before the elections, for him to tell you that he likes killing animals from a helicopter, how wonderful your biography by Hustler (a publisher of pornography) productions was, called "Nailin Pailin," and how his wife wrote a song about you called "Lipstick on a Pig"?

How clueless do you have to be?

Once it is beyond obvious that its not Sarkozy, long, long after it is obvious, she asks the perps for their specific call letters for the radio station. Too bad they are calling from Canada: That's CKOI in Montreal. Vengeance is a dish best served inside your country's sovereign borders. Except this time, it's not. So go fuck yourself, Palin, they're calling from Canada.

This whole McInsane election is so fucking lame, why don't we revisit this: